“Inasmuch as you cannot predict if and when you will be disappointed, once it happens you have only two choices: You can either let it consume you, until you become bitter
and resentful. Or, you can accept what has happened, learn from it and move on. It really is that simple. What we tend to do is over analyze.” ~Life Is Not Complicated: Disappointment
I had to take some time to refocus. Over the past two and a half weeks, I was sidelined by illness (I am fine now, thank God), had to deal with a challenging personal issue, navigate changes in my career, and accept for the first time in nearly two years, all good things must come to an end (or at the very least, may be abruptly interrupted). This period in my life almost knocked me off-center. As I’m sure many of you can relate, it’s as if I was being bombarded by an unrelenting series of disappointments. And I am not too proud to admit that it was exhausting. Mentally and physically. You begin to question everything you have done up until that point. Not in a “second-guessing” oneself kind of way. More like, “What is it do I need to change in order to get back on track” kind of way. I was taking on too much, thinking about too much, trying to coordinate way too much and it caught up with me. God has a way of letting one know, it’s time to take a step back. In fact, one of my favorite scriptures is Mark 4:39: “And he arose, and rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea,Peace, Be Still. And There Was a Great Calm”. That is a powerful verse. One we should heed, especially when facing disappointment; when we are twisting in the wind and battered by life’s storms.
When things do not go our way, we typically have two choices (as I describe in the chapter Disappointment.) We can either be controlled or take control. After a brief period of solitude and deep prayer, I realized I needed to get back to my old self or else I would lose the firm hold I had on all the moving parts that make up my life. I took it all one step at a time. First, I settled my personal concerns. I am a firm believer that if things are not good at the center of one’s life it will be very difficult to control everything that emanates from your core, your heart, your soul. You need to be right with yourself and the people you count on to keep you grounded before you can productively tackle extraneous, extracurricular factors of your day-to-day existence. I then addressed my professional hurdles. I re-visited my business strategy, re-assessed and restructured. I also have been making a much greater effort to remain healthy, mentally and physically. No matter how boldly you stand against life’s challenges, if the mind and body are weak you are basically defenseless. Bottom line is, I took action. I decided what I wanted, what mattered, who mattered and made a conscious decision to proceed in a direction favorable to all of the above. I did not sulk or wallow. To do so would be to succumb to disappointment; to take for granted that I have been given the ability to decide if I will be happy or miserable. That choice is a blessing…a gift. It’s all up to you. You either want the best life can offer or not. To straddle that indecision in between is to waste your days away. Decisiveness, desire and purpose are the best weapons against disappointment.
I will leave you with this excerpt from the chapter, Disappointment. “If you can train yourself to be actionable instead of reactionary, you will break out of the negative space that is typically furnished with fear, uncertainty and inaction, and move into that peaceful zone of determination, power, decisiveness and growth.”
Hoping from this point on you choose to deal with disappointment and its effects head on. Life becomes less complicated when you do.