There is nothing I can say that will add anything to the ongoing debate about the Ray and Janay Rice incident that has been holding our timelines, twitter feeds, sports shows, news broadcasts, online publications, magazines and newspapers hostage as we ride the wave of this latest trending topic.
I have never been one to condone a man putting their hands on a woman. I personally do not excuse violence of any kind. No human being should strike another human being, period. I wasn’t raised that way, I don’t think that way and I do not associate with anyone who thinks that is ok. That is not the respectful man my Momma and my Grandmother taught me to be. However, they also taught me not to judge. They taught me that what happens between a man and a woman in their marriage (or any relationship) is between THAT man and woman. We can “would have, should have, could have” all day long. In the end, one thing is certain: No one has any idea what Ray Rice was really thinking when he committed such a horrible act and no one (no matter how much you speculate, relate, associate or commiserate) has a definitive, unbiased, without a doubt clue what Janay Rice is feeling or thinking but Janay Rice.
The bottom line is he did a terrible thing to the woman he says he loves. She forgave him. They say they want to heal and move on. What more do we want? I don’t stand in judgment of people because I am not perfect. And one thing is for sure… at one time or another I was forgiven for one thing or another and was grateful for the opportunity to move on with my life. I will wager many of us can say the same thing. Now imagine, if after committing whatever egregious act that required forgiveness, the entire world wanted your heads on a platter and your life sacrificed? What if every time we did something wrong, society could play judge and jury and condemn our souls to eternal fire. I mean seriously, there would be no one left in the world!
For me (and this is just my opinion, not a judgment, not a denouncement, not vilification, nor am I condoning anyone’s actions)… I really hope these people can find some kind of healing and resolution. They have a child. And once we all move on to the next trending topic, that little girl will still be in the midst of a very painful existence that will only get better if this family is allowed to get on with their lives. No one can tell Janay what to do. No one can tell Ray Rice what to do. These are grown folks that will do what they feel works for them. Instead of judging them, thank God you are not dealing with their pain. In other words, let’s get back to focusing on our lives so we don’t lose track of what’s happening in our backyard and end up creating our own personal crisis!
With all that said, please…if you or someone you know is the victim of domestic violence or any form of abuse (man or woman), I urge you to speak up and find someone (friend, family member, pastor, spiritual adviser, doctor, law enforcement official, domestic abuse hotline, priest) you can turn to for help.