I’ve been buried between the pages of what will be my next book, due out later this year God willing. I try not to become distracted while writing. However, the way my mind works very little goes unnoticed. I often say this is both a gift and a curse! Recently I had an exchange that I feel merits a quick note on the Life Is Not Complicated, You Areblog. I plan to develop this concept in my latest effort because it is an issue that keeps far too many of us from progressing beyond the inclination to judge without cause.
Having an opinion is perfectly acceptable. Everyone is entitled to his or her viewpoint, especially on issues that matter to them. Whether the topic is “relevant” is not for others to decide because if it matters to you, it matters. However, nothing justifies spouting negativity just for the sake of being critical. It’s become a trend that I find repulsive and disturbing. Someone (whether it be a celebrity, friend, family member, even an enemy) does something that warrants applause and an individual immediately points out what the person is NOT doing. They harp on what the person SHOULD be doing. They belabor what they consider bad about the act or the subject at hand without acknowledging the good. My question is, if you cannot appreciate the value of someone’s triumph or respect their success why say anything at all? Why tear people down publicly because they are not living up to YOUR standards or expectations?
Some examples of high profile hatred: You criticize Jay Z for not doing enough for the community. Do you know Jay Z? Has he divulged the specifics of his philanthropic endeavors with you? Some people hate Kobe Bryant because he is “arrogant”. Never mind he has been shown to have the most exacting, committed and successful work ethic in the game. He doesn’t like hanging out or prefers to shoot free-throws for hours, so he is labeled anti-social? Absurd. Some folks do not care for the movies Tyler Perry produces. Well, why not discuss the fact the man went from being almost homeless (based on published reports and by his own accounts) to being one of the most powerful men in the entertainment industry?
Closer to home: your colleague earned a promotion because she never calls in sick. But you’d rather talk about the fact she does not know how to dress. Your friend has finally found happiness in a relationship. Yet you’d rather discuss how he was cheated on by his wife and that is why that got divorced. Your brother’s daughter got accepted to Harvard. But you choose to broadcast that she is a recovering addict. Why? Just say nothing. Or, here is a thought: Be proud. Be happy. Be inspired. Be encouraged. Take it as a sign anything is possible.
Sometimes it seems, we are so diminished by our own shortcomings we are unable to celebrate the success of others. I have a feeling this chapter is going to touch a nerve.
Stay tuned everyone. As always your support is appreciated.