As most of you know, I am not one to jump on bandwagons. I typically keep my opinions close to the vest, with the full understanding that unless my thoughts on a topic are solicited they are probably as unwelcome as those of anyone else who chooses to wantonly deposit their two cents into the collective pot.
That said, I was asked by many friends and family for my reaction to the Supreme Court’s decision to legalize same-sex marriage nationwide. And, as I do with any topic that has generated controversy, I took my time, gathered my thoughts, let the wave of (sometimes mindless, hateful) debate subside and began to write.
Bottom line is, if it does not affect you DIRECTLY, why are you up in arms? Seriously? Unless you are planning to marry someone of the same sex, have a family member, close friend or loved one who is directly affected, don’t worry about it. And even then, whether you agree or disagree with the decision, your joy or outrage is not the priority in the lives of the people for whom this decision is so important. Quite frankly, it is so not about you!
It didn’t take long to arrive at this conclusion. My reasoning about gay marriage/lifestyle did not change because the highest court in the land handed down a decision that, in reality, was expected. If anyone I know chooses to live the lifestyle my life does not and will not change one bit. I subscribe to the mantra “Live and let live”. Now, if you do not agree with the decision that is your prerogative. However, that does not give you or anyone the right to spew hatred, stomp on people’s happiness, promote ignorance, thump bibles or judge. If you live your life, according to your beliefs then the lives of others should have no bearing whatsoever on your daily walk.
We spend far too much time looking into our neighbor’s windows and remarking on how messy their household is, and not enough time getting our own houses in order. I personally do not have time to throw stones because I’m too busy using them to build my own foundation. Not to mention, the bible clearly directs: “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.” I for one am humble and realistic enough to admit I won’t be warming up my pitching arm any time soon.
While so many people are focusing on legalizing gay marriage and tearing down confederate flags, our sons are wandering through life aimlessly looking for leaders. Our daughters are lost and confused because they are searching for positive role models to emulate. Our families are becoming more and more fragile and our communities are buckling under the weight of disregard, discontent and despair because we’ve decided to take up fights that have absolutely nothing to do with us! Which is not to imply that the rights of all men are not important or that the state of race relations in this country is not at a breaking point. However, as I have said so many times before, change, repair and progress all begins at home.
I am all for taking up a cause, fighting for what is right, and yes expressing opinions when warranted. But unless you are prepared to back up your words with actions, I think its best to put the weapons of condemnation down and pick up tools of self-reflection. Basically, work on yourself, before you try to fix everybody else.