I Got Kinky, and It Changed My Life!

As I approached the day I set to cut my hair, I sat down and reflected on why I was so adamant about going natural. I mean, I knew the obvious reasons, but I also understood there was a deeper meaning behind the act. My hair was not damaged. I did not spend tons of money caring for it._MG_4220_clipped_rev_1 I learned how to style it myself, so I was not beholden to visiting a stylist every single week. So it was not so much about convenience or necessity. It was something more.

I needed to unburden myself. I had to stop worrying about what people would say, or think, or how they would react if I did not fit a certain mold. More importantly, I needed to let go of any need to explain my grown self.

The struggle was real! The first time I wore my head wrap to dinner with a group of friends (some white), I wondered (a bit too long) about how it would go over. 82360274_10219003500431441_5649974613975760896_oImagine that? I had been so programmed to “look a certain way,” that even when I embraced the woman I am, I hesitated! I did not think too much about it back then. Still, for all the bold confidence I exude daily, some insecurity manifested during the simplest acts of just existing truthfully and intentionally (including the donning an African headwrap!)

Over the years, I learned a tough lesson. Caring about the opinions of others is truly one of the greatest prisons of the mind. Some people really hold up how they dress, where they work, what “luxuries” they possess, who they know, where they’ve been, and the style, texture, and length of their hair as badges of honor. And I don’t mean in the “Your hair is your crowning glory” kind of way. I’m referring to the widely accepted perception that hair must be straight, long and wavy for it- and you- to be beautiful. Hell, when I finally did cut my hair, I wanted to wait until I had the perfect natural hairstyle before I revealed what should be a victorious moment in my life. Yes, it HAD to be LAID! I was on the verge of ruining a monumental moment in my life. Really? Straight ridiculousness!

Natural 4 CamoFinally, I asked the million-dollar question: “Are you doing this for them, or you?”

That’s all I needed. It was for me. All for me. And quite frankly, that is the ONLY reason one should ever make a life-altering decision. I am not my hair. I am not what people think of my hair. I am a strong, confident, smart, accomplished, sassy (sometimes too sassy…but oh well), driven, sensitive, loving woman with a Brooklyn mouth and a Haitian attitude, and I am all that and more with my new, natural, short, fierce ass fro!

This was my journey. Not a commentary on what is right or wrong. Not a critique of sisters who choose to relax their hair, wear lace-fronts, weaves, wigs. Whatever blows your hair back mama. You represent YOU however YOU choose. Wear your hair however you want…but do so because you like it,  not because you want validation from society, or to perpetuate unwarranted perceptions.

I have stepped onto a new path in this continuous journey (And spent a small fortune on hair products. Pray for me y’all!). Going natural is not the be all end all of one’s growth, but it sure does set a dam good foundation. I just want women everywhere to BELIEVE, you are the arbiter of your body, your decisions, your desires, your actions, your feelings, your emotions. It is your life, and no one should have so much power that they dictate how you choose to live it. Love who you are. Natural 2 BridgeEvery bit of it. Flaws and all. Your beauty is made up of the whole package. You will be very surprised at how much this energy of courage, confidence, and self-love will attract people who match your soul.

I cut my hair and grew my confidence. Thank you all so much for your support and love. My journey continues. How will YOU take control of your life?

2 thoughts on “I Got Kinky, and It Changed My Life!

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