Tag: Book

Life Is Not Complicated, Protests Are

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    There are certain issues I do not comment on because no matter my opinion, or how “right” I think I am, or how many facts I present to support my reasoning one thing is certain: the people who disagreed with me before my impassioned arguments will likely disagree with me long after I make my case. And that would bother me IF I were trying to convince people to see my side. I am not. I would be offended IF I needed people to validate my opinions. I do not. I am perfectly content knowing what I know, believing what I believe, and doing what I need to do to stand up for my convictions. Furthermore, I respect anybody who does the same, whether I agree with their point of view or not. Anyone who can express their unwavering, thoughtful, righteous support of any cause should be admired, not vilified. In a society where you are rarely sure what side of the fence people stand on, the ones who plant their feet firmly on committed soil represent a resolute minority more of us should emulate.

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    For over a year, Colin Kaepernick has been that “minority”. For most of that time, he fought the battle alone; wordless; silent, save an explanation or two detailing why he chose this course of action.

    “I am not going to stand up to show pride in a flag for a country that oppresses black people and people of color,” Kaepernick said, via NFL.com. “To me, this is bigger than football and it would be selfish on my part to look the other way. There are bodies in the street and people getting paid leave and getting away with murder.”

    As of this writing, he has declined interviews, refused to rebut criticism and refrained from engaging in mindless Twitter wars. He is adamant that this is not about him and insists that this demonstration is bigger than football. His fight remains reticent while his actions ignite the vociferous fury of those who view his actions as dishonorable, disrespectful, and self-serving. And as a proud U.S. veteran who fought for the freedom Mr. Kaepernick now exercises I do not understand what the uproar is about. I’m inclined to believe his opponents do not either. I’m referring to those opponents who use the same freedom to demand the man’s head be served on a platter; opponents who use the very liberty he is being condemned for to call him (and fellow NFL players) “sons of bitches” and other crude appellations. It is the epitome of hypocrisy to crucify a man using the same nails you accuse him of driving into the U.S flag. How can anyone justify denouncing what they perceive as hate and irreverence, with hate and irreverence? Silent protesters against violence and social inequities impugned by adversaries spewing vitriol. Make this make sense.

    Even though he remains a lightning rod for profane attacks his willingness to compromise (not submit) is ignored. No one talks about the fact that in September Kaepernick met with former Green Beret and brief NFL long snapper Nate Boyer. After the discussion Kaepernick decided to shift from sitting to taking a knee during the anthem, saying “We were talking to [Boyer] about how can we get the message back on track and not take away from the military, not take away from fighting for our country, but keep the focus on what the issues really are. And as we talked about it, we came up with taking a knee. Because there are issues that still need to be addressed and it was also a way to show more respect to the men and women who fight for this country.” (Source: SBNATION). If we are going to denounce his intentions, tell the whole story.

    Colin Kaepernick is one man who, despite the risks (to his career, personal life and reputation), took a knee to protest the pervasive social injustices that has eroded the very fabric of civilized society. How many people can say the same? How many of those who stand in judgment of Kaepernick (and who agree with him) can say they are willing and ready to take the same risk for the cause? I personally will never ask anyone to do something I would not do myself. I also will not criticize someone for doing anything I have not.

    On Sunday, September 24, 2017 — after the NFL came under fire by the forty-fifth President of the United States, Donald J. Trump — over 200 of Kaepernick’s sports comrades joined him in his protest as a show of solidarity. After over a year of  silently protesting

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    (largely by himself) to raise awareness about the dangerous plight of black men and women in our country, Kaepernick’s “voice” resonates; his purpose amplified by the boorish comments of the commander in chief and those who echo his dissent. Ultimately, it should not matter what catalyst sparked such widespread support. I’m just happy the dialogue has begun in earnest. It remains to be seen how long this united front will last and what, if anything, it will achieve. I do know when all is said and done, we must never forget that through it all (the name calling, the judgment, and the risks), Colin Kaepernick was never afraid to stand alone; he never faltered in his pursuit to address social injustice around the country. And for that I will always respect him.

Life Is Not Complicated, but when darkness falls turn your light on

One morning, I was reading some of the feedback left on my “Life Is Not Complicated, You Are” page on Facebook. I have never been one to rest on laurels, and while I am gratified with the positive feedback so far, I want to stay connected with my readers, and address the positive reactios, as well as any issues or concerns they may have. While scrolling down the page, one post caught my attention. Stopped me, dead in my tracks. It read simply, “Depression, is real…”. I was so moved by this statement, I had to log off for a few hours, just to get my bearings and refocus.

DepressionDeliverance, the chapter in LINC that addresses depression and the stigma and fears attached to this debilitating illness, was one of the most difficult chapters to write. As I explain in the book, I too had my misconceptions (and admittedly, some misgivings) about depression. Honestly, up until the moment I realized one of my best friends was battling that monster, I had not met a single person (that I know of) who struggled under the weight of this mental oppression. Once I had been introduced to depression, I realized if I wanted to help my friend and preserve our friendship, I needed to understand what the illness was all about. So I read, I researched, I asked questions…I asked a lot of questions. I learned that there were people around me who I never would have imagined were depressed. People who contemplated hurting themselves, people who retreated from “life” for days; anything to stop the suffering. I made it a priority to educate myself so that I could support my friend, and others who simply need to BELIEVE there is hope. I am not an authority on depression, nor do I purport to have all the answers. But I do know, that people very close to me sometimes live in darkness. Sometimes I feel helpless, but I remind them… they are not alone. That darkness is not permanent. However, they have to want to “turn the light on”. They have to want to pick themselves up, and find a reason to live for. Seek out the things that matter, and realize that if they disappear, others will hurt. Kids, spouses, parents, friends. One of the greatest, most valuable lessons my mom taught me, and that I discuss throughout Life Is Not Complicated is, I matter. No matter my circumstance, no matter the opinion of others, no matter my struggle and quite frankly, no matter how successful I become, nothing should define more than my own opinion of me. We need to know our worth, our value. We need to realize we deserve happiness, love, understanding. These things mean so much more when it comes from us first!

Yes, depression is painful, and oppressive, and frightening and draining. But YOU are strong, and worthy, and valuable and necessary. This affirmation should be your light in the darkness. So I ask anyone who is drifting off, and tempted to retreat into mental despair…turn your light in. Find your way back. People who love you, are waiting. People who understand are waiting. Don’t discount what your support system can do. Turn your light on.